Arsenal Panto Run Extended into New Year
The Gunners’ all-singing, all-dancing riches-to-rags tale has proved so popular with panto fans that it has been extended beyond the festive season...
Rush for Golden Generation Stalls
“Yee-ha, boys,” said the Birmingham City co-owner, “there’s no limit to the generation of golden teamwork and leadership that saw England fail to qualify for Euro 2008...
Ronaldo Claims All Scoring Records, Ever
2030 – 52 Goals! And the San Marino Sunday League Division 6 is no joke!
Eight Big Takeaways from the First Half of the Season
As New Year’s resolutions get dropped faster than Arsenal’s lead at the top, we review the season so far, and what fans can eat to comfort themselves...
Super League: The Snider Cut
European courts have ruled that a reboot of 2021’s Super League could see a continent-wide release this Christmas...
Betway Unveil Brand Ambassadors: Toney, Tonali & Trippier
Betway have announced their new line-up of Premier League ambassadors, dubbed the Three T’s: disgraced and suspended player-gamblers Ivan Toney, Kieran Trippier and Sandro Tonali...
Pep and Roy: Comedy Duo Hit the Road
Bringing Christmas cheer to an end-of-pier venue near you, odd couple Roy and Pep are taking their Yuletide variety show around the country...
Webb of lies: Ref ringleader gloats over Gunner conspiracy
“Mwahahahha!” gloated Webb from his lair in PGMOL headquarters. “Yes, it was me all along, the author of all Arsenal’s pain."
Ten Hag’s Acceptance Speech
Ten Hag: “This is how I wanted to play, which is why I didn’t use the players I’ve signed..."
Haaland Lays Egg in PL Trophy
Haaland’s extra alien mouth popped out to abuse referee Simon Hooper...