United Open Witness Protection for City Execs

United Open Witness Protection for City Execs

Manchester United’s witness protection program has a great reputation – many a high-profile footballer has relocated there to become a nobody. Just ask Donny van de Beek.

But now they’ve moved on to Manchester City board members like Omar ‘the ops’ Berrada, who has been given a new identity as Man U CEO.

City’s 115 racketeering charges are due in court this autumn, and it is thought the turncoat Berrada will be a key witness.

Berrada will need to stay in witness protection until the City trial begins. The City kingpin, a figure known only as ‘the Sheikh’, is implicated in a long history of witness intimidation and torture, and is alleged to have a contract out on his former henchman.

United are taking no chances with their star witness. Bodyguards Maguire and Onana have been assigned to defend Berrada from any would-be shooters, while top marksman Anthony is poised in the rafters of Old Trafford, waiting to pick off intruders.

However, with ringleaders such as Jim ‘Jimmy the Rat’ Ratcliffe and Joel ‘Joey the Leverage’ Glazer, many suspect United are just as active in the football underworld as City.