A self-help guide for out-of-favour footballers
Rule 1: Turn Up Early
Get in at least an hour early. In principle. Set your alarm. Hit snooze. Hit it again. Show your commitment to hitting snooze – only for the hardcore!
Rule 2: Train Every Day
When you can’t train in reality, find a way to do it virtually.
Off-duty soldiers, for example, often upskill with Call of Duty. Wannabe bricklayers use Tetris. Redundant chefs and waiters stay sharp with Diner Dash. Benched footballers will naturally favour FIFA, but keep an open mind; Manchester United players can hone their law-breaking skills with some GTA action. Mason Greenwood and Anthony are allegedly big fans of the sandbox battery and sexual-assault simulator, so it could even help to stay in touch with teammates. Win-win!
Rule 3: Be Seen
This is all about making sure your effort is recognised.
Your commitment to the snooze button may be admirable, but there’s one problem – nobody sees it. Fix that by getting colleagues to give you wake up calls. As well as boosting your reputation, they’ll surely thank you for spreading your early-bird habits to them. Squad goals!
It’s the same with simulations. Add visibility to your FIFA gameplay by streaming it. Rule 1 still applies, so 3am is usually the best time. Don’t ignore golden opportunities though. Not selected for a difficult match? Show your support by joining in on Playstation!
All this will leave no room for doubt about your commitment levels.
Rule 4: Never Back Down
And never apologize. Especially when an apology would be the quickest route to achieving your stated goals. Commitment is all about doing things the hard way. And anyway, as long as you’ve followed rules 1, 2 and 3, you’ve earned the right to dismiss any and all criticism. Even from people who have been kind in the past. Months off work? Full pay? Gratitude is weakness, so don’t lower your standards. Remember, you are perfect.