Kylian Mbappe has ended speculation about a Liverpool move next season, stating that the club could not meet his demands:
“Actually, it’s not about the football – although obviously I would need control over transfers, tactics and team selection, being a much better manager than Klopp. And naturally, the ground would be renamed Kylianfield.
“But really, the main issue was my off-pitch requirements. All I wanted was statues throughout the city, a position as Mayor, half the annual GDP of Merseyside, my face on the £20 note, and Liverpool Cathedral converted to Mbaptism.
“It’s not much to ask, considering the qualities I can bring to the team – self-sacrifice, leadership, maturity, humility and of course, self-awareness.”
Jurgen Klopp played down the rejection: “We are competing with Real Madrid, and the fact is that they can offer more perks: playing for them, Kylian would have the right of Prima Nocta – to bed any bride before her new husband – throughout Madrid, and would be named King Felipe VI’s successor.
“I mean, we can’t even guarantee that Everton won’t put forward Sean Dyche as an alternative mayoral candidate and insist on a caged death-match to decide the winner.”